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ABSURD PRODUCT WARNINGS
- On a cardboard windshield sun shade:
"Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place."
- On an infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.
-On a package of Fisherman's Friend(R) throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.
-On a disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.
-On a handgun:
Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.
-On a piano:
Harmful or fatal if swallowed.
-On a can of Fix-a-Flat:
Not to be used for breast augmentation.
-On work gloves:
For best results, do not leave at crime scene.
-On a blender:
Not for use as an aquarium.
-On a microscope: Objects are smaller and less alarming than
-On children's alphabet blocks:
Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and
sentences that may be deemed offensive.
-On a wet suit:
-On The Washington Post:
Do not cut up and use for blackmail note.
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